Things I Would Teach My Hypothetical Children (Plus Some Pictures From Sardegna)

A little while ago a friend put this poster up on her Facebook feed:

It made me laugh but it also made me think about my own judgments of how people parent. The thing is, you see, I am not a Mom and I never will be in this life. I married later in life and for my husband it was even later in life and so starting a family wasn't in the cards for us.

Now before some of you go all feeling sorry for me, know that I'm completely at peace with this. Sure, there were moments of regret but for me it's all okay. What I became instead was an awkward, bumbling step-mother to grown children and after that a fairly okay step-grandmother.  Still, there have been lots of moments on this mission when I have thought, "if I had been a parent, it would have been good to teach my children this..." Or I might think, "Parents really should teach their children ________________ (fill in the blank) before they go on a mission."    

Now I don't want those of you who are parents to start squirming in your seat and to feel like I'm about to lay a guilt trip on you. Know that I'm in no position to judge any parent and how they raise their children. But if I could take a few of the things I've seen and learned on my mission and apply it to a younger version of me who actually did become an "ideal" parent, these are some things I would want my children to know and understand if they chose to go on a mission:

#1:  Mental illness is no-one's fault, and they will encounter it on a mission. They themselves may not become mentally ill (or they might) but if it's not them, a missionary companion or someone in their district will struggle with it at some point. If it's themselves, I would want them to seek and adhere to medical advice from medical professionals.  I would want them to understand that serving a mission does not exempt them from taking medications for these problems if needed. If it's a companion or other missionary that they work closely with who is struggling, I would teach them to be compassionate and supportive of this missionary and to keep their mission president and mission nurse informed when serious problems happen.

#2:  I would want them to know how to clean a bathroom and to have that be a regular part of their chores. One of our duties as senior missionaries is to do apartment inspections. There are some missionaries who do a pretty good job of keeping their apartments clean and some who really, really, really don't. On one apartment inspection we did, the two missionaries complained that when they had been put it that area, it took them four days to deep-clean their apartment because the previous missionaries had left it in a disgusting state. As one of them said, "These are my friends. How could they do this to us?" Another thing that happens is the mission has to pay for expensive repairs because of silly things these kids (because let's face it - they ARE kids) do. We are working on educating these young people about cleaning and taking care of their apartments, but still, I think would want to teach my hypothetical children that church funds are sacred and not well spent on preventable apartment repairs.

#3:  I would tell them that they are going to be a "have-not" missionary. Oh, I don't mean I would leave them without proper clothes or the things they need and I wouldn't leave them without occasional fun money for Christmas and their birthday. But I would want them to learn to budget and live on the monthly money they get on their church debit card for food and personal items. I would want them to learn how to do without when they can't afford something that isn't an absolute need. There are in our mission "have" and "have not" missionaries. Personally, I'd prefer my hypothetical children to be "have-nots."

There. That's what I would do if I could project this on to a past me who is living in an alternate universe where I became a perfect parent.  Ha, ha, ha! As if I could ever be a perfect parent. Does such a person even exist? Okay, enough of that.

Well, getting back to the topic of apartment inspections, it was our privilege to go to the island of Sardegna a few weeks back to do the inspections of the apartments there. Sardegna apartment inspections is something that rotates through the senior couples in Rome because we have no senior couple serving on the island to do them. So it was our turn.

Sardegna is a place I've long been curious about because my sister-in-law's children have relatives there and rave about it. What they mainly rave about are the beaches in the summertime, but November really isn't the time to see beaches. In fact, we hoped we would see some beaches but it didn't happen on our travels. 

Now you're probably thinking, but what about that picture? Because you're seeing palm trees etc. Well, this was taken at the port of Olbia early on a very chilly morning when our ferry first got in. But it is an awfully nice sunrise, isn't it?

Now this is what kills me about this Mediter-ranean climate. Even when we are wrapped up in our toques and scarves, we can wander past blooming bushes and trees. It just warms up my little Canadian heart. 

And here's another thing that warms up my little Canadian heart: thick dark Italian Hot Chocolate for breakfast. Nobody, but nobody, can do Hot Chocolate as good as the Italians can, in my humble opinion.

We saw mountains, lots and lots of mountains. But when I look at this picture, I realize that the photo doesn't really do justice to the magnificent mountain scenery we saw near Cagliari. Oh and we saw lots of sheep too. More sheep than you can possibly imagine.

And another big thrill was to see one of these: a Nuraghe (a.k.a. Nuraghi). Nuraghes are pre-historic structures that you find here and there throughout Sardegna that date between 1900 and 700 B.C. Historians don't really agree what they were used for and don't have a lot of information about the civilization that built them. But because we climbed right up to this one and peeked inside, it looked to us like a meeting place with a hole in the top where the smoke from a fire would have come out of, similar to a tee pee. It was a thrill for us to see that we could get this up close and personal to a Nuraghe. 

It must sound like all we did was have fun and games on Sardegna but not true. We spent the first two days there just driving to apartments and doing inspections and it was exhausting. It was the third day, our P-Day, when we finally had some time to see the sights. So now my curiosity about Sardegna has been satisfied, though I may never get to see one of their magnificent beaches.


It doesn't matter because I have seen and experienced so many wonderful things here. Everyday I realize what a blessing it is to be here, to serve a mission, to associate with great people and to get to see the wonders of Italy. I couldn't ask for more.